The Legend Of The Weenis
by blitzbabe101
Summary: A short story about Bella's attempt at getting exactly what she desires from Edward while he sleeps... But maybe he's not all he seems? Rated M for some language and sexual references. A sort of lemon.


**So I've had a massive case of writer's block recently and I'm bored of romantic stuff right now so I thought I'd do something more... creative :) Bella's PoV, All Human, Rated M. All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing. I would also like to say that I'm not saying four inches is small but for a 26 year old guy that's got an erection: it is.**

Edward chased me through the house, laughing and dodging furniture. He easil caught up with me, making me squeal. I giggled as he began to trail kisses down my neck. My giggling soon became moans of ecstasy, however fruitless my hopes were.

Edward and I were both 26, and had been in a relationship for two years now. He'd said he wanted to go slow after a messy break up with Tanya Denali, who still spread rumours about Edward. She occasionally texted me warnings. Nothing threatening; more about how bad Edward was in bed and how he wasn't "what I'd expect". I ignored them all and never told him; it would upset him. He was kind, sweet, funny, smart, sensitive; everything I could dream of in a man. He was also sex on legs. I wanted this man to fuck me so hard that the wall would crumble. That was the only downfall: he wanted to go slow. I hadn't made my intention's subtle either, he knew what I wanted and carefully rejected everytime. I groaned, locking my fingers in his hair.

"Edward, please..." I moaned. He stopped and set me down, sighing.

"Slow, Bella, slow. You agreed slow was good?"

"Slow was good. But it's been two years Edward. I think we're ready. I know I am." I was being a bitch and I knew it. He looked hurt and I immediately felt guilty.

"I'm sorry Edward. I'm just frustrated." _In every sense_, I added silently. "Why don't you stay tonight and we can watch some movies and order pizza? Charlie's staying at Billy's while Jake's on a trip with his friends." I offered, a plan forming.

He smiled crookedly. "Yeah, that sounds great."

I could hear him snoring and he felt asleep as I lay at his side. I apolagized silently for my actions.

"Edward..." I cooed. He didn't even stir. I smiled. Sitting up, I pulled myself to his lap and watched him, enjoying the scenery before taking the stroll. His face was perfectly sculpted, like the rest of his body with high cheekbones, a straight nose, perfect full lips with straight, white teeth; though I couldn't see them in the darkness. I leaned forward, unbuttoning his shirt, excited and shaking. I looked at his perfect chest: a slightly visibly six pack with pink, erect nipples and a light amount of bronze hair where his pants were hanging low. Mmmm... happy trail... I thought happily as I slipped his pants down. Taking a deep breath, I took hold of his boxers and pulled them down. I gasped at the sight of... nothing. He had a little bit of bronze hair sorrounding his testicles but his penis was only about an inch and a half, maybe two.

I shook the thought from my mind, deciding it was because he wasn't turned on yet. I took the head of his dick - small, flacid, like the reast of it - and put it in my mouth. I bobbed, sucked, licked and swirled my toungue. I ran my hand up it when I could and massaged his balls. Nothing. Nada. Nil.

_Hold the phone_, I thought, feeling it harden in my mouth. I carried on doing what I was doing - sucking the tip and then letting go. He likes bottle openers, I realised. When I felt no more hardenening, I sat up to marvel at it's size. About three and a half maybe four inches long and a diameter of about half an inch.

_It can't be that small. Nothing is that small. It's probably just harder to turn him on. _I decided I'd have to ride him. That would definitely do the trick. I slipped my shorts and panties off and straddled him. I had to hold his dick so I could find it. I wouldn't have known it was in if not for my hand being there. I rode the shit out of him, wondering if this was a dream. Then I heard him groan and felt my insides go warm.

"He came?" I gasped, outloud. He was small and fast. I sat there for a minute or two, contemplating what to do and thanking God he was a heavy sleeper. Then he stirred and rolled over, throwing me to the floor with a THUD! I sighed, taking hold of my clothes, putting them back on and then pulling his back up. I looked at the clock. _6am,_ it read.

"Now's a good time to get up, I guess," I said glumly. I walked into my bathroom and turned on the shower. While the water heated up, I brushed the knots out of my hair and took my top and shorts off, leaving me in just my underwear. Suddenly, I felt a pair of arms circle my waist. He kissed my neck.

"Hey," he whispered, hoarsely.

"Hey," I said back, unable to get the unpleasant idea of sex with him out of my mind.

"So I was thinking about what we talked about yesterday..." He trailed off.

"Yeah?"

"And I think I was being too hasty. Sex would only make us closer. We've waited long enough. We shouldn't wait any longer." As he finished, his fingers trailed down to my panties, plucking at the drawstring.

"You know what Edward? I think I just got my period." And with that I pushed him out of bathroom and locked the door.

**Done. I had fun writing this I guess. :)**


End file.
